listening to that "inner voice"

 I took this photo at 6 this morning,  Dandelion, my favorite flower!!!!  This has been a very emotionally charged week for me, and this is why i really need to stay grounded and take care of myself,   I have been asked by someone to share a recent story here on my blog,   And i have really taking time to think about this, I know my blog titled the Diabetic Pelican, is supposed to be about eating, and exercising right??  But it is so much more than that,   I am not religious at all,  BUT  I am Spiritual, and I trust in my Journey and I trust I am always where i am supposed to be.  and I am very aware of that.....  so this is for you my friend, (you know who you are)......  I want to share this.

Monday was a very crazy day at work,  Our patients seem to be a little more anxious, a little more hopeless, and yes some a little more grumpy.   I had more than normal amount of Crisis calls that day,   it breaks my heart to talk with a 22 year old young lady....... who was so broken and so hopeless, she just didn't want to live anymore.   Or the patient that couldn't get her anxiety medication, and hearing the fear and panic in her voice.  So it was like that all day.  At 6:55 pm   ( our office leaves at 7pm) the secretary pops into my office, one of the patients that i actually see, his mom was calling in to see about scheduling him an appointment with me,      I didn't think anything about it,  he is very sweet,  and does very well (very intelligent but not great with social skills)  so 99% of the time I say.... sure schedule them to see me this week.........BUT and this is where the inner voice comes in,  I had an incredible desire to talk to this mom and her son.... so i had the call transferred.   The young man had to come in the evening as he couldn't miss work at his new job.  I work monday evenings.   Tuesday is my one day i want to be off  without thinking about the office at all.  (weekends i always keep an eye out for Crisis with our patients).    I don't know how, or why,  but I knew I HAD to see him.   so i scheduled him to see me the next day, a Tuesday in the evening.  I just decided i would go into the office this day. besides, i had overflow from such a busy Monday.  unsure why i made that call,  but didn't question it,  It was just a feeling.  Tuesday he came in to see me,  and although i don't use a name, i am going to respect and give privacy to this incredible loving family and not share the details of what happened after that.  But i will say..... He and his family are doing exactly what they need to do.   The charge of energy and gratitude that I had driving home from work that night,  overwhelmed me and I cried most of the way home.  looking back,  nothing happens by accident.  I believe i was where i should have been at the exact time.  whether it was my gut, or divine intervention...........maybe they are the same, gut feeling/divine intervention!!!   as I was driving and crying........... this quiet voice from within softly spoke to my heart..... was it the boys guardian angel,  was it mine?   not sure.  But the next available evening i would have worked would have been the next Monday... and in my heart , i knew,  I knew this sweet young man would not have been here if we would have waited......  the magnification of that had me so overwhelmed that i was unable to sleep that night......  And i am so blessed, so blessed that i am at the place and age in my life that i listen to that soft voice that we all hear but don't always listen too. In closing if you pray,  pray, if you believe in energy and vibes, send energy.... lift humanity in your thoughts....  People are so scared and broken.........substance abuse is everywhere........ just people trying to numb the fear and the pain.   And Suicide is real,  people are so broken they just don't see the way out.   This is why i always say be Kind to one another,   without judgement.  some of the greatest people i know, are not politicians, ministers, and the "popular" ..........  They are , the broken souls, the addicts in recovery who sometimes fall, they are real and honest and beautiful.  Many of my patients are my GREATEST HEROS, and i've been saying that for years.   I am so humbled and blessed that God has chosen my path to be surrounded by these beautiful people...... they have taught me more than any professor or religious leader ever did.  I am full of gratitude.