Just a little sad!! dealing with a few things

Yesterday was two years since my dear old friend and mentor died.  funny the second year brought up more memories than the first year of his one year death mark.  I just know I really miss him.  But i also know that he left earth at the perfect time, and I wouldn't change a thing.  but even two years after Old Bills death,.......... i can still say he was my greatest gift and he changed me in such a profound way.  and my close friends will  attest to that 

Some folks think, because I am so positive and happy, that i must have had this perfect life.... I assure you I have not.  But in hindsight, as I have been looking back on my life.   it truly was the most difficult and dark moments that I would never change.   it was in these times i grew to understand a higher power,  I call him God, it was during these times that I learned to Trust and understand that every second of my life, made me me!!  I am not a religious person at all, and churches are not for me,  Its not that I believe in God,  its that I know as I know as I know!!! My relationship with God/Jesus isn't hurt by other forms of worship, but my relationship is enhanced by others,  those that lean toward Mother Earth,  Buddhism,  Muslim , Agnostics and Atheist   I will never push my faith, or think it's better........ all I am to do is live my faith and believe the good in all others..

I am such a work in progress that is for sure... I recently found out a person that hurt me as a child, and my family has recently died,........ it brought a tidal wave of memories and emotions and recently because of this has triggered some more feelings and memories.   I decided to not run away from this, or sweep it under the rug in my soul.  But to allow myself to feel this,  feel the hate, feel the desire to seek revenge etc.  I know this will take a moment.... but I am being with "it"  and there is no shame.  it's going on a month now, and i already feel my soul winning!!!  because you see,    it isn't given to Us, we must Choose.............  choose happiness,   choose peace,  choose forgiveness.......... you see I am selfish that way.   I am too important to me to allow negative thoughts and emotions control me.  

May peace be with you, and may you find the good in ALL things.