The week after Scott died, I had a couple days i couldn't shake it.... not grief, I can do grief, but it hit almost like I think depression would hit, it was that "emptiness" that i felt for a few days after Old Bill died. you know i never even realized until my dear friend brought this to my attention. you know who you are and thank you. In approx. 18 months time I lost 3 very important people in my life. it wasn't like great aunt Ester that i saw twice when i was two years old...... these are people that were ingrained in my very heart and soul, all so incredibly important, and all loved completely but in a different way!!! My brother, who I have known my entire life, that shared my genetic makeup, Died suddenly and surprisingly in Sept, 30 2020. Old Bill didn't even wait a full year, He was an OLD soulmate of mine, the entire time we were together, was in a way prepping for him to go home. My great changes occurred during my time with him, He was my best friend, and my greatest gift. I always said he was the Sun that stayed steady, so i could learn and grow as I revolved around him like the Earth does the sun. He was old, and we knew his time was limited. and this man that I have know for many years, suddenly our connection, our friendship started to slowly and gently turn into something pretty special, I always loved Scott, but it was exciting to see where this would have taken us.... we spent so much time in the last couple months, really getting to know each other, we started to make plans, to go out and have some "old fashion fun" as he said . But we will never know..
All loved differently, all grieving differently, all in different stages of grief. add that to the job I do, and the knowledge of how many people rely on my energy... how many people in Crisis. how many people i want to "fix and nurture" and I knew I needed ME for a while. This is truly the best place I have been in my entire life, Mentally, Spiritually, Physically. I am amazed how i am feeling,. I have a lot of love and energy to give. but now maybe I will make sure to "put the oxygen mask on me first" before i take care of others........ I think it will benefit us both.
Please be kind to one another, and make sure you take care of you.
